Are You Being Too Nice To Get A Job?
Where you ever called too nice? Seriously. It happens. Sometimes people can be too nice for their own good. Typically this is said in a romantic situation. Overly nice people hem and haw about whether to go for the gusto and just ask a person out. Nevertheless, being too nice can negatively impact your chances of not only getting a job but also holding it and getting compensating enough to make it worthwhile. Here are several ways being too nice can hold you back from getting the job you need and a little advice on how to correct that problem.
Lack of assertiveness- One of the most common perceptions of being too nice is not being assertive enough. It’s sad but true. People who exhibit nice traits, such as compassion, sympathy and desire to not create conflict, often do not put themselves out there enough. Forget what Hollywood says about the nerdy nice guy getting the girl at the end by her just falling in love with him. Lack of assertiveness is going to hamper your job chances simply because you’re not putting yourself out there and making it known what you want. To get around this, take baby steps. You don’t have to pound the table with your fist to get your point across. Being a jerk isn’t going to help you anymore than being too nice. Instead, just vocalize your needs. Use a lot of ‘I’ messages, such as ‘I want…’ or ‘I feel…’. It is a non confrontational way of standing up for yourself.
Being a pushover- Another part of being too nice is being seen as a pushover. Don’t expect to get a swirly, however. The professional equivalent of a swirly is having a load of paperwork dumped on your desk or being asked to take on extra responsibilities for no extra compensation. Again, there is a fine line here. Perhaps the extra responsibilities are a primer for a promotion or raise. However, usually extra work is dumped on someone because the person doing the dumping knows they can get away with it. Say no. To sound reasonable, use ‘I’ messages to convey why you can’t. Don’t scream you’re mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. Just say ‘I am too busy or too swamped’. Simple as that.
Lack of drive- Being too nice can also hold you back from even trying. Give yourself a little bit extra credit. Just graduating from college can be pretty scary. But throw yourself out there a bit. Don’t make excuses from going after your dream job. The job market is a cut throat place sometimes. Don’t be afraid to get a little dirty because you learned about a job opening. Keep it a secret for yourself.
Admit it, you’ve been called too nice. Let me know in the comment section what you’re doing about it. Conversely, are you the mean guy that still gives wedgies? Tell me all about it. Log in now.